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c'est la vie...?   
08:32am 31/07/2006
mood: depressed
life has turned from the best to the worst to moderately crappy yet tolerable...

about 3 weeks ago jon walked out on me. while i was asleep. and he didnt even leave a note. and when i called him he had the nerve to be pissed off at ME, like i did anything wrong...which i didnt!

so i've been in a fucked up mood ever since then. i havent been eating or sleeping properly and my head hurts ALL the fucking time. the only light of salvation has come in the form of tv, internet, pot, and being reunited with old friends.

maybe it's the tv and internet that's giving me the headache. i have issues with sitting and staring at screens for long periods of time, but ever since jon left there's nothing to do around here except drown my mind in pointless shit.

well i sorta take that back. that's not all i've been doing. the first week was so bad that i had to shut myself up in my room and ended up passing the time by reading like 4 or 5 long ass books. my brother started calling me boring. joy. now i'm not only emotionally distressed, but im boring as well!

(make a sacrifice for the greater good)

right so....   
01:10am 05/05/2006
mood: exhausted
even though i graduated over a year ago, i'm going to prom with jon. yay! i get to have at least one authentic highschool senior experience. that makes me happy even though it's the prom and it will probably be lame....but that's ok cuz we're going to voss's after party!! i'll have myself a drink, pop a tab, smoke a bunch of dro, and get totally fuckin shit faced with my baby and our super awesome pals. super aweswome yay!!!!


ok so anywaaaaayyyy i dont have much else to say.

t-mobile suspended my service until i pay my $300 phone bill. how rude of them. haha.


(make a sacrifice for the greater good)

i took the purity test again...   
10:03pm 21/03/2006
mood: still high...
PURITY: 31% sex, 30% substance, 50% moral [36% total]
Well done! The higher your scores, the more "pure" you are. The lower, the more you've experienced.

This test was about done deeds, so your numbers will never climb. [It's interesting to think they all started at 100%.] But will your purity continue to fall? Will you OUTGROW or will you OUTDO your past experiences? It's up to you.


  • Don't date anyone if your moral purities differ by more than 30%.
  • Don't run a business with anyone if your substance purities differ by more than 40%.
  • Do be friends with someone who has less than 1/2 your sex purity. You'll enjoy their colorful company.

Note: as for the "TOTAL" purity value - that's a weighted combination of your scores, indicating what a typical purity test might say about you.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

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You scored higher than 5% on substance

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You scored higher than 3% on sex

free online dating free online dating
You scored higher than 12% on moral

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You scored higher than 4% on TOTAL
Link: The 3-Variable Purity Test written by chriscoyne on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

it used to be 45% sex, 40% substance, 41% moral....i find it ironic that somehow the morality thing went up.

(make a sacrifice for the greater good)

09:51pm 21/03/2006
mood: high
i updated....

are you happy now vale?

(make a sacrifice for the greater good)

so much to do....   
11:01am 14/12/2005
mood: depressed
right so i still have to work on my leave-behind for observational drawing which is due tomorrow night.

damn and i also have to do 25 sketches and my final project for perspective.

i've been terribly depressed lately for many many reasons. my parents have a lot to do with it, like always. but it's more than just them this time. it's everything and everyone. and it's me. i'm making myself depressed all of the time because i keep refusing to change even though i know its time to grow up.

i havent gone back to work yet. i dont know if he's gong to call me today or wait until friday, or possibly next week.

i keep feeling like im going to throw up. all of the time. even when i know im hungry. just the thought of food makes me sick, but i have to eat, dont i? i dunno. sometimes i feel like i should go a week without anything to eat or drink but water.

im just depressed because no one gives a damn about me, and dont you dare reply saying shit like "oh cate that's not true, we do care!"....if you cared you motherfuckers would give me a call now and then, or reply to my posts more, or you'd talk to me on aim, or SOMETHING.

it's no wonder my birthdays always suck ass. between you people never speaking to me, people never showing up for my parties because they've always got some more important bullshit to do for themselves, and my dad never being around....why do i even bother celebrating my birth anymore? it's not like anyone cares that im even alive, otherwise y'all would say happy birthday or something.

i realize that my birthday was 2 months ago, but im just pissed off about people acting like they care about me when it's obviously not true....and my birthdays are proof of that.

fuck everyone.

(make a sacrifice for the greater good)

im stuck in a canoe at the top of the empire state building   
08:32pm 20/09/2005
mood: exhausted
today was a tres tres busy day filled with going-ness.

first we took my dad to the bus station since they're calling him out on his first run and all.
after that it was taco bell for lunch, then home for a little bit, then to the hospital so my mom could have a doctor look at her eye cuz it's really bloodshot and has a ball of puss on the eyeball itself...all for no reason (she cant remember hurting it). while she was seeing the doctor brandon and i walked to the pet shop to look at all the cute little puppies and whatnot. after we met back up with my mom we went to kroger and blockbuster.

and tomorrow is going to be just as busy!!!
i have to go to the art institute tomorrow morning to take my entrance exam. after that i'm not sure what we're going to do, but i know that i have sneak preview tickets to see roll bounce at 7:30....WHOOP!!!

(make a sacrifice for the greater good)

Are you Jerry's brother? did you have Ms. Alexander?   
11:58pm 05/08/2005
mood: blah
so drew FINALLY got back from work a little bit ago. he didnt get off until 10pm. now he's going to be working at the ozarka warehouse from 2:30pm until whenever every weekday.

i might get a job there, but really it depends on if the supervisor guy is going to work with me. i still have a lot more therapy to get through before october. i'll have to reschedule all of my appointments for the morning-time since i'll have to work the afternoon shift with drew (since we're eachother's ride). it shouldnt be that bad soon enough because he's going to try and get an apartment close to the warehouse. if he does i'll just stay with him durring the week or whatever i guess.

it really depends on if the supervisor will actually let me work there or not...he might not since im not 18 yet, but drew said he seems like a really cool guy so maybe he'll make an exception in light of the fact that my b-day is only 2 months away.

i dont know but...whatever. im going to go read some more and junk.

(make a sacrifice for the greater good)

08:43am 02/06/2005
mood: groggy

ok yeah that's about it for now

(make a sacrifice for the greater good)

09:34pm 06/05/2005
mood: nervous
drew keeps talking about how much he loves me and blah blah blah.

he's planning on coming to houston to see me at some point, too. this makes me really nervous.

(make a sacrifice for the greater good)

03:50pm 06/05/2005
mood: high
What Icons are for you? by ladyallie
Favourite Colour
Your Love icon is...
Your Sad Icon is...
Your Happy Icon is...
Your Angry Icon is...
Your Food Icon is...
Your Animal Icon is...
Your Random Icon is...
Your Cartoon Icon is...
Your Sexy Icon is...
Quiz created with MemeGen!

Your True Nature by llScorpiusll
The quality that most appeals to you:Beauty
In a survival situation, you:Play dead
Your hidden talent is:Seeing the best in others
Your gift is:Ability to acquire wealth
In groups, you:Are the center of attention
Your best quality is:Your empathic nature
Your weakness is:Your furious temper
Quiz created with MemeGen!


(make a sacrifice for the greater good)

i missed my bunny a lot so i got a new one.....   
01:00pm 05/05/2005
mood: high
and here he is!!!

my pet!

(make a sacrifice for the greater good)

08:43pm 13/04/2005
mood: excited
and so is soundgarden....but that's besides the point!

school dedline: april 23rd (10 days)

when i turn everything in i'll be done and i'll get my diploma and be done with highschool. kdsbhgvjhsdfbv!!!!!!!!!!!!

after that im getting a job for numerous reasons, but the following being the most important as far as the near-future is concerned.....

ok so me, steve, and ab decided that when school lets out in may...it's WISCONSIN OR BUST!! yeah....joel is moving up there and we're going to roadtrip up there to hang with him for a while, and then we might hit up cali on the way back.

anyway....$ in the wisconsin or bust fund: $200 (joel gave it to steve to start us off)

those guys are the fucking BEST thing that has EVER happened to me!!!

(make a sacrifice for the greater good)

feel-good song of the day!   
01:12pm 13/04/2005
mood: crazy
I'm going back to where I came from
So far away, but not so far from home
Where I lay my head down by the sea
I'm going back to where'd go
So far away, but not so far from home
Where I'd rest, where I'd lay so peacefully

But by the way,
I want a break, I want to put all this stress aside
But above all things I want to lay by the Oceanside
The ocean waves, no other way, get away
Well I'm finding!
Oh no, my daily worries want to drift away, Fine!
Dying and trying just to find some sort of piece of mind
Now's the time, to get away, I'm going away!

No other place to go, I've got to get away, let's get away! Away...

One more minute, the beaches San Diego,
One more minute!
One more minute, the beaches Mexico
One more minute!
One more minute, we kick it back poolside
One more minute, and we're down by the Oceanside
One more minute, one more minute, one more minute!

So far away, and dowdy on the beach
I want to clear my head and bake it in the warm sunshine
Want to relay relaxation
With the horizon straight away
And a ring around my arm from a long day, of making angels in the sand
Pacifico in my hand!

No other place to go, I wanna get away, let's get away! Away...

sunshine in my eyes, and the flamenco in the skies
The only way, you'll ever know, is to go, is to go!

Shed the light all day...

(make a sacrifice for the greater good)

wha wha whaaaa????   
09:58pm 21/03/2005
Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Stability |||||||||||||| 53%
Orderliness |||| 13%
Empathy |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Interdependence |||||||||||||||| 63%
Intellectual |||||||||||||||| 63%
Mystical |||||||||||||| 56%
Artistic |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Religious || 10%
Hedonism |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Materialism |||||||||||||||| 63%
Narcissism |||||| 30%
Adventurousness |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Work ethic |||||| 30%
Self absorbed |||||||||||||| 56%
Conflict seeking |||||||||| 36%
Need to dominate |||||||||||| 43%
Romantic |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Avoidant |||| 16%
Anti-authority |||||||||||| 43%
Wealth |||||| 23%
Dependency |||||||||||| 50%
Change averse |||||||||||||| 56%
Cautiousness |||||||||||||||| 70%
Individuality |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Sexuality |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Physical security |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Food indulgent |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Histrionic |||||||||||| 50%
Paranoia |||||||||||| 43%
Vanity || 10%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||| 50%
Female cliche |||||||||||||||| 70%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

(make a sacrifice for the greater good)

02:44pm 21/03/2005
mood: crazy
You scored as Tongue Piercing. You're a naughty person aren't you? Being with you is probably lots and lots of fun. You're probably totally pimpin' too. Good for you, good for you.


Tongue Piercing


Cartilage Piercing


Earlobe Piercing


Labret Piercing


Belly Button Piercing


Dirty Piercings




Lip Piercing


Nose Piercing


What Piercing Are You?
created with QuizFarm.com

(make a sacrifice for the greater good)

04:45pm 15/03/2005
mood: loved
jon and i are officially going out now! YAY!

im so happy im going to explode!

(3 human sacrifices | make a sacrifice for the greater good)

a BMW?!?! WHAT WHAT?!?!?!   
03:59pm 06/02/2005
mood: optimistic

What Sort of Hat Are You? I am a Party Hat.I am a Party Hat.

I'm a popular sort of person, well-liked and very sociable. I'm always at the height of fashion, either because I set it or because I follow it. What Sort of Hat Are You?

ok i dont know about the whole height of fashion thing....i seem to just throw on whatever's in front of me, whether it's all grungy or not, and go.

but yes, i am qite the party girl i guess. not like in a horribly slutty way! i mean like, a kick bak and have a good time with your friends kinda way.

im bored....i just spent like an hour babysitting. it wasnt fun.

so we went and looked at this car that's for sale close to my house...
-it's a bmw convertable
-it's red with tan leather interior and a black top
-it's standard
-it's got 200k miles on it
-it's a 94
-it's got power everything
-the radio doesnt work
-the power side mirrors dont work because it's missing the control on the driver's side but that doesnt really matter that much
-it's $3800.

if i get it it's gonna need to be tricked out...
-i need airbrush mike to hook me up with a paintjob (i'm thinking black with a little bit of limegreen accent...nothing too flashy that still sets a nice look for the exterior)
-i need to invest in a new radio/cd player
-i need either seat covers or i need to have it reapolstered cause i dont like leather interior!! (i'm thinking something black and limegreen...ofcourse)
-for fun i really really want some green neon lights

the only problem is that we dont have any money right now to get it....and i dont know how to drive a stick...hahaha

(make a sacrifice for the greater good)

09:00pm 04/02/2005
mood: content
i got the grudge today!

i also got my dad that new game mercenaries for xbox. it's really cool with lots of 'splodey-ness!!!!

(make a sacrifice for the greater good)

im sorry i cant be with you anymore   
10:01pm 23/01/2005
mood: melancholy
I tried to be perfect
But nothing was worth it
I don’t believe it makes me real
I thought it’d be easy
But no one believes me
I meant all the things I said

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own

This place is so empty
My thoughts are so tempting
I don’t know how it got so bad
Sometimes it’s so crazy
That nothing can save me
But it’s the only thing that I have

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own

On my own

I tried to be perfect
It just wasn’t worth it
Nothing could ever be so wrong
It’s hard to believe me
It never gets easy
I guess I knew that all along

If you believe it’s in my soul
I’d say all the words that I know
Just to see if it would show
That I’m trying to let you know
That I’m better off on my own

(make a sacrifice for the greater good)

11:29pm 20/01/2005
mood: tired
today i woe up around 11:30 and went to wendy's to put in an application. then i went to the texas art supply on montrose and put in an application there.

then i went to therapy at depelchin. it was....ok.

im bored. i spent the last hour playing GTA3. my dad was making fun of me because i kept...ummm....dying. and then he tried to play. and he died. a lot faster than i did. and i laughed. it was good. good times. baaaaaaaaad video gaming skills.

anywhooooo.....tomorrow my plans stand thus:
-wake up
-go sign up for home schooling
-go apply for a job at amc30...and other places
-get on the bus and go hang around the galleria....or possibly wait for some friends to get out of school at lamar and see if anyone wants to go to the movies and see white noise
-meet up with michael at the movies to see in good company
-go home

(3 human sacrifices | make a sacrifice for the greater good)